The Pope Is in the House

September 18, 2010

At a cost of $130 million to British taxpayers the pope is in the UK for, well, ‘good will.’ If he’s trying to win back the people who separated from the Church Universal back in the days of Henry VIII, he’s a little late. Britons are overwhelmingly non-believers; 71% answered ‘No’ to a Gallup poll that asked, “Does religion occupy an important place in your life?” Actually the pope is in town to mend fences with the Anglican Church. He sees an opportunity to recruit Anglicans who are disenchanted with the Church of England’s willingness to ordain gays and women. The One True Church would never tolerate women running around the sacristy like they owned the place. Like the Muslims, the Church sees only a subordinate role for anyone lacking an appropriate level of testosterone. During his poaching expedition to the UK the pope had something to say about the failure of secular democracy in the modern world:

“By appeal to what authority can moral dilemmas be resolved? If moral principles underpinning the democratic process are themselves determined by nothing more solid than social consensus, then the fragility of the process becomes all too evident – herein lies the real challenge for democracy.”

"Sieg heil. Piss on you. Er, peace be upon you."

Underlying this careful phrasing is His Holiness’ contention that the only reliable source of moral guidance for this world is The Church. This, of course, is the same church that was still executing heretics less than two centuries ago and, in the modern era, has released a battalion of pedophiles upon young believers. The pope fails to recognize that the Judeo-Christian religion for which he is the front man has two millenia of tradition at least as barbarous as that of Islam. Animal and human sacrifice, animism, rape, murder, slavery, and misogyny permeate the Old and New Testaments. If the Bible sanctions these outrages, why doesn’t the Church espouse them today? Only because their Good Book, a confusing, contradictory document written primarily by ignorant shepherds, has been overtaken by Western philosophy. That’s right folks, it is secular, godless thought that has corrected the worst abuses of Judeo-Christian theology. Read the Bible, Your Holiness. What does Deuteronomy say about our duty to kill our children if they stray from the path of righteousness? Oh, that’s the Old Testament, you say? What about Paul’s exhortations to women and slaves to be subordinate to their masters? Christianity, as practiced today, is marginally palatable only because it has been tempered by the influence of secular thinkers from the Greeks to Eric Hoffer. It is difficult to envision the living hell in which we would exist were the Good Book our standard for moral conduct.


Let’s Face It, They’re All Nuts

September 12, 2010

For the past few months, controversy has raged over the plan of Muslim groups to build a mega-mosque within blocks of the former site of the World Trade Center. The Ground Zero Mosque, while permitted under the religious freedoms guaranteed by our Constitution, represents a poke in the eye with a sharp stick to Americans everywhere. It has been likened to building a memorial to Hitler in the vicinity of Auschwitz, permitted perhaps by Polish law (though unlikely) but in poor taste and gross disregard for the sentiments of rational people everywhere.

Christians, however, would be guilty of hypocrisy if they were to condemn Muslims for their irrational fundamentalism and insensitivity to the feelings of non-believers. Consider, for example, Bill Keller, a Christian evangelist who says “When [Muslims] decided to build a mosque and decided to preach what I consider a 1,400-year-old lie from Hell, I decided that somebody should be down there preaching the truth of God’s word.” Keller wants to build a Ground Zero Christian Center to “counter the lies of Islam. All these people will die and burn in hell,” says Keller. “Islam is not and has never been a religion of peace.”

Apparently, neither is Christianity. Consider Justin Carl Moose, 26, of Concord NC, who calls himself the “Christian counterpart of Osama bin Laden.” Moose has declared jihad against American infidels who perform abortions. Moose was busted by the FBI, which claims he collaborated to plan the bombing of an abortion clinic in North Carolina.

For once, the feds probably are right. Moose has not been shy about sharing his plans via his Facebook page: “Whatever you may think about me, you’re probably right. Extremist, Radical, Fundamentalist…? Yep! Terrorist…? Well, I prefer the term ’freedom Fighter.’ There few problems in life that can’t be solved with the proper application of high explosives :)”  (yes, he actually posted a smiley-face emoticon). “If a mosque is built on ground zero, it will be removed. Oklahoma City style. Tim [McVeigh is] not the only man out there that knows how to do it. I have learned a lot from the muslim terrorists and have no problem using their tactics.”

Arguably, Christians and Muslims owe allegiance to the same god. He needs to take them all to the celestial woodshed and whack them soundly. That He has not done so is evidence of:

  • stupidity
  • callous disregard for His flock
  • impotence
  • non-existence

Take your pick.