Ever since the 1980’s, when we first became aware of Muslim violence directed specifically against the United States, most of us have asked “Why? What did we ever do to piss these people off to the point that they wanted to kill us?”
Tender-minded liberals wrung their hands, and mouthed defenses of Muslim violence—the West was a threat to their traditional way of life; we had oppressed them for years; they truly believed that we were Satan’s minions on earth; we were infidels because, hearing the words of the Prophet, we chose to reject them; we were decadent hedonists concerned with our comfort here on earth while ignoring the possibility of roasting for eternity for our iniquities.
All true, I’m sure. But that still doesn’t explain this desire on the part of a few Muslims to kill us wholesale, nor does it explain why about half of the world’s Muslims, while condemning their brethren’s violence toward Westerners, still consider it justified.
The danger starts in the most fundamentalist parts of the Muslim world—jurisdictions where, as soon as they begin to resemble women, rather than asexual children, Muslim girls are covered up, taken out of school, and bade to await the decisions of the males in their family as to whom, if anyone, they will marry, and when.
Meanwhile young Muslim men, whose curiosity about sex and the female body are raging, are left to look at pairs of eyes peering out from shapeless bags. Their fate, apparently when they have acquired enough goats, is to marry one of these pigs in a poke and hope for the best. The unveiling of the bride on the wedding night has to be one of the most frightening experiences in Islam.
Young men of all cultures, rich or poor, educated or ignorant, all gravitate towards two things in their youth: sex and violence. The more they get of one, the less interested they seem in the other. Now imagine yourself a young Muslim of, say 17. You’re standing behind the sheep barn with your dick in one hand and a purloined copy of Playboy in the other. It suddenly occurs to you that your chances against actually getting laid before you’re 25 are about 1000 to 1. Would that tend to piss you off? Would it make you violent? I suspect so.
I think instead of spending billions on security that doesn’t work and troops that just exacerbate the problem, we should release our secret weapon: American Muslim women.
Here’s the pitch, Muhammad: Instead of arriving in Detroit with your brain filled with hate and your underwear full of explosives, how about showing up with some flowers, maybe take a bath and put on a clean suit. We’ll try to fix you up with someone like this year’s Miss USA, Rimah Fakih. Yeah, chances are she’s busy but there are plenty of other Muslim babes in this country and, if you don’t smell like your goat, you could hook up with one of them.
And there’s a bonus. Since Americans already know that women are at least as smart, if not smarter, than men we send them to school. Rima’s already got degrees in economics and business. She plans to go to law school next. Now here’s a babe that can keep your Johnson up for hours on end and support you in a style to which you would like to be accustomed.
Just a word of warning: Don’t mess with these women. They know what they want and they’re not about to take shit from assholes like you.